Monday, August 18, 2014

Coming of Age: Rough Draft

I did the normal schedule that I did every day. I would get ready for school, my mom would drop me off in the front around 7:30 am and I would walk into the big front doors. I would walk down the big crowded hallway that seems like it would never end to meet my friends. Walking over to the circle of girls that I have grown up with, hearing them talk about yesterdays game and how we won. Joining in on the conversation, I congratulated everyone that played and we kept talking until the bell rang and made us go our separate ways, until we would meet up again at lunch. Then, when the day was over I would wait in the front of the school waiting to get picked up.  

I saw my moms mini van pull into the round about that leads to my school, so I grabbed my bag and started walking to her car. I open the sliding door and jumped in waving bye to my friends. When I shut the door, my mom tells me the news that would change the rest of my life. She says “ Jessie, since your dad is in the military we have to move every four years and last year we were very lucky that he was able to get an extension but this year we have to move.” I was very quite taking in everything I just learned. I finally responded back and asked how long until we move and where to. She told me we have five months until we leave and that we were moving to Hawaii. When we pulled into our drive way I got out of the car and raced inside. Once inside, I quickly rushed into my room to text my friends the news. Hawaii? How could I be moving? Let alone moving across the Pacific. I sat on my bed and thought of all of my friends that I was going to lose and the family I was going to move away from. 

One month before we move the movers start to come and collect our things. I sat on the swing in our front yard watching them take away everything making this move seem even closer. I kept wishing I would wake up from this nightmare and the movers would be gone and all of my things would be back inside. I close my eyes replaying all of the good times I had here in Washington. I see my brother, cousin and I having snowball fights in winter, my family going to mine and my brothers sporting games, seeing all of the sleep overs and birthday parties I had. A tear silently slips down my face and falls to the ground. I quickly wipe my face and run inside to find that my house was empty. I check every room and every room is empty. I go to my room last hoping my stuff will still be in there. I turn the corner and walk into my room and see the movers carrying out the last box, leaving my room empty. My room looks so small now without all of the pictures of my friends and I hanging on the wall, without my bed sitting in the corner.

It’s the last day here in Washington and I have to do the hardest thing. I have to say goodbye to all of my friends and family. We drive to the softball fields where all of my friends are playing the last game of the season. I slowly walk over to the field they are playing at and sit there watching them play. When the game is over they see me and rush over. None of us talk all we do is hug each other really tight and not let go. No one wants to say anything afraid that we would cry if we tried to to. I finally break the silence and say “I’ll never forget you guys.” my voice breaking halfway through. My sobs finally come out choking me, not allowing me to say anything else. But we didn’t need to talk, everything we needed to say was said through our hug. When my mom comes over and tells me that we have to leave in five minutes we all start to cry harder and our hug gets tighter not wanting to let go, not wanting to say goodbye. We finally stop hugging and say the words we have been trying to avoid, goodbye. They walk me to my car, waving as we drive away.

We drive to the airport where my aunt and cousin are waiting to say goodbye. My mom and aunt have lived near each other since they were little. We arrive at the airport and unload our bags. We hug our family really tight saying goodbye and that we will see them soon. My mom and aunt hug one more time and we load our bags onto the luggage belt. This was it. Once we cross through the security line it would be official, we were leaving. As I crossed through the sensor I kept thinking what if my friends forget me? What if they get to busy to text me? But I realized that if my mom can move away from her sister, I can do this move as well. My book wasn't ending, a new chapter was just beginning.

4 comments:

  1. GREEAAAT JOB JESAASAASYYSAYAYA :)

    Room for improvement:
    The only suggestion I have is to talk more about how moving made you "grow up" and reflect on what you learned through your experience.

    k shooooots

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  2. Hey Jessie,
    I liked your story and how you expressed your emotions through the words. I also enjoyed how you emphasized some of your words to make it sound important. You could add more details and talk more about what you learned from this experience. :)

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  3. Hey Jessie! I like how you put the detail, it almost made me cry. I could feel how you felt reading your essay. You should put more about how moving to Hawaii affected you.

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  4. AS(2-) TRY TO AVOID RAMBLING TOO MUCH AND GET TO THE POINT OF YOUR STORY QUICKER. THERE SEEMS TO BE A LOT OF BUILD UP TO THE ACTUAL MOVING WHEN YOU SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME DISCUSSING ABOUT THE ACTUAL MOVE. YOU CAN QUICKLY SAY THAT YOU LOVED BEING WHERE YOU WERE AT BUT THEN HAD TO MOVE IN A MUCH SHORTER LENGTH THAN WHAT YOU HAVE. ALSO THERE IS NO REAL DISCUSSION ABOUT HOW YOU CHANGED AND HOW GOING THROUGH THAT EVEN MADE YOU "COME OF AGE"

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