Sunday, November 2, 2014

Risky Business Rough draft


Boyfriends, girlfriends, teen love stories and, high school sweethearts, yes those all sound nice but in reality it’s not all hugs and kisses. According to everydayhealth.com  about 2 in every 10 teen girls report being sexually or physically abused in their relationship and about 1 in every 10 teen boys have reported abuse in the relationship. Teen dating violence is a pattern of abusive behavior used to control another person. Teen dating violence can be both a good thing and a bad thing, however most cases of teen dating violence is bad, it leads to trust issues, and it can negatively affect your physical and mental health. 

When you are in relationship you are supposed to be able to trust the person you are with. You are not supposed to be afraid of them. Teen dating violence causes teens to have trust issues. Girls that are in an abusive relationship are afraid to tell someone about the abuse not wanting to be hit again by their boyfriend. Afraid to tell their partner they want to break up, scared that they will spread rumors about them or tell personal information that they know, trying to ruin their image, or they are just afraid they will get abused again. The trust the girl once had for the boy disappears as the hitting continues. Not knowing if she can trust him when he says “ I will never hit you again, I’m so sorry.” wanting to believe that he is telling the truth she forgives him, not wanting to lose him. 

When a girl gets abused by their significant other they do not want to tell anyone afraid that they will lose them. So instead of telling the truth on how they got the bruises they say they either fell or they hit it on a table to cover up the abusive relationship.  Wanting to be the “alpha” of the relationship the boy slaps her into place so she doesn't forget where she belongs. 
 Physical abuse is not only slapping, punching, kicking etc. It can be sexually as well. Forcing the girl to do things she does not want to do, afraid to say no she does them so she will not be hit. Feeling helpless the girl does what the boy says to avoid being hit again.

Physical abuse is not the only kind of abuse in a relationship. There is also verbal abuse, which is talking down to your significant other. They scream and yell at you feel small and worthless. Not wanting to seem like he is “whipped” in front of his friends he talks down to her making her seem small and not important. Threatening to kill you if you tell anyone what is happening, or saying they will hit you again if you don’ t do what you told can take a toll on your mental health. Being abused by your partner can lead into depression, causing them not to eat, sleep, constantly feeling sad, sometimes even causing one to commit suicide. Just because others cannot see the mental abuse that is going on does not mean that it is not as bad as physical abuse. They both take a negative affect on your health. 

When there is violence in the relationship it is because they want to show dominance. Thinking that the bruises will eventually fade the male keeps hitting the female until they think that they have learned their lesson. Acting before they think the male hits the female not thinking about the consequences after. Afraid to stand up for yourself the hitting continues and gets worse over time until it is just too much to handle. Some think that hitting your significant other makes the relationship stronger but in reality it leads to having trust issues for the rest of your life, and it can negatively affect your physical and mental health. 


3 comments:

  1. It was a very good story! I feel like in the introduction you could possibly just state less information but as you continue on with your story just add the information in the body of the essay because it would put more meat and depth in the story. Continue to work hard! You got this!

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  2. Hey Jessay! I really liked your essay! I agree with Ryne on not stating facts in the intro. I also think you need more facts in the body paragraph. I like how you describe it in a real life situation but if put more statistics it can make the essay stronger. Great job jessaayyy!

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  3. AS(2+) GREAT START! MY SUGGESTIONS: YOU MAY WANT TO EXPLORE AND DISCUSS THE IDEA OF "TEEN DATING VIOLENCE" A BIT MORE AND CLEARLY STATE WHAT IT CAN INVOLVE. ALSO, YOU HAVE A GREAT PIECE OF EVIDENCE IN YOUR INTRO BUT THAT WAS IT, YOU NEED TO HAVE THAT KIND OF EVIDENCE IN YOUR BODY PARAGRAPHS TO SUPPORT YOUR IDEAS AND PROVE THEM CORRECT. THAT IS YOUR BIGGEST WEAKNESS IN YOUR WRITING.

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