Friday, November 8, 2013

KC3 Draft

              Hawaii has two sides of paradise, the side that you see and the side that you don't want see. Hawaii has many economic flaws, it is not just all paradise. The cost of living in Hawaii is a major one. From living in a house, to buying food to even electricity bills. Hawaii has many economic factors. The cost of living there is one of them.

              Hawaii's housing bills are off the charts. The prices keep going up by the year. The housing in Hawaii costs more than the mainland house's because the land space on the small island is limited. Some of the land is private ownership, therefore the city cannot build on it. When the house's cost more people cannot afford to live in them causing them to loose their homes and to live on the streets. Hawaii is know for it's natural beauty, but with more people living on the streets it takes away for the beauty the island casts. Not only is there limited land space to build on, the resources cost more as well. With Hawaii being in the middle of the Pacific ocean, supplies cost more to get shipments out to the island. Since the island is only is big it can't have as many building supplies as the mainland. The construction cost's more money to get shipped over and it take a long time for the supplies to arrive. The hosing in Hawaii is expensive and there is only so much space to build homes.

              With Hawaii being a main tourist attraction the resources we have are limited. Since the supplies are limited if the shipments stopped coming the island would only have a seven day food supply. The food here almost costs 30% more than it costs on the mainland. People would think that food costs more because we need to have food sent in from the mainland, that is true however shipping is only a minor factor. The reason why food is expensive is the grocery store's wants to have a fully stocked inventory at all times to keep food on the shelves. On the mainland the grocery stores are closer to the food supply that's why it does not cost as much. They also do not need to keep a fully stocked inventory because they get shipments more often. Hawaii does not have as many people to feed on the island compared to the mainland, however Hawaii is further away from any food producers that is why food is more money.

              Hawaii has one of the highest electricity bills in the nation. In 2008 Hawaii's electricity cost went up because the oil price went up. That's because petroleum fuels 76% of Hawaii's electrical generators. Hawaii electricity is almost double the price of the mainland. The electricity in Hawaii is independently generated. While people on the mainland pay $69 a month, Hawaii pay $168 a month. Hawaii is expensive because it depends on oil to function. Hawaii is reducing some by putting in solar power panels. Hawaii is dependent on oil to run it's electricity when oil price goes up, electricity bills go up.

              Hawaii is not just a state of paradise. All though it has nice beaches, fancy hotels and sweet shave ice, know that the economy has many expensive factors. The housing costs more than it does on the mainland. The land space is also limited. The food costs almost 30% more in Hawaii compared to other places. And, the electricity bill in Hawaii was the largest in the nation. It almost was double the price than in the mainland. Hawaii is a beautiful place to live but it is more expensive to live in places of beauty. Hawaii has many economic factors. The price of living there is one of them

3 comments:

  1. Hey jessie ok so i liked your essay just fix some grammar. O and for the reasoning put more of what u think not just facts. Thats pretty much all other than that u are good! :) Okkie Dookie k bye

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  2. Your essay was pretty good! Make sure that you stay within the chunky paragraph format. Also, there were a lot of grammatical errors. To be more specific, it wasn't your sentence fluency but your spelling. That's pretty much it! Good job (:

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  3. MAKE SURE TO HAVE AN ACTUAL THESIS STATEMENT AT THE END OF YOUR INTRODUCTION. THIS TELLS US WHAT YOU ESSAY WILL BE ABOUT. IN YOUR BODY PARAGRAPHS THERE ARE FACTS BUT YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT THE FACTS ARE SPECIFIC AND POSSIBLY EVEN NUMBERS ( I AM TALKING ABOUT YOUR FIRST BODY SECTION). ALSO YOU COULD CREATE MORE DISCUSSION EXPLAIN YOUR REASONING A BIT MORE. OTHER THAN THAT GREAT START. MS(3)

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